Mola Mola.

Dear god look at this kid. I was looking up information about the Oceanic Sunfish also known as the Mola Mola, and I came upon this picture. I was dumbfounded to find something actually even more awkward looking then the Mola Mola but this kid takes the cake. Oh and of course the kid is British, I mean just look at the teeth you had to have already guessed that. At least he looks happy with his Mola Mola. Keep reaching for the stars lad.

Traffic lights.

I am sick and tired of the complete nonsensical use of functionless red left turn signals that have been installed in Los Angeles. I know this is a ridiculous thing to get pissed off about. Really you can't let the little things get you down. Right? Well this is horse crap that's why I am pissed off. It wastes my time and it pretty much only serves the purpose to mock me. "You are obviously not smart enough to know when not to turn, so as a safety measure we have taken away your right to turn completely until we tell you its absolutely safe." That is what I hear the city telling me every time I stop at one of these.
Well, first let me explain what I am talking about. I am talking about a type of traffic light. It has three colors, yellow, green, and red. So far nothing that should be bothersome or unfamiliar to anyone. This thing about these lights is they have an arrow pointing left. They dictate when you can turn and when you can't. The thing is the green light actually has a function. Sometimes it is safe to turn left when it is not safe to go straight at the same time, if both directions are turning left for example. This in many cases is very useful, say there is a heavy buildup in an area of cars that need to turn left while the other way is very busy. I completely approve of the green light. Green = good. I wrote that, its catchy, you can use it all you want, be my guest. Red tho, red is that jerk who shows up to your parties uninvited and drunk, and he then hits on your girlfriend. Red has no purpose other then to prevent you from making unsafe left turns. But C'mon! Isn't the law not to make a left turn when its not safe anyways. We don't need a light to tell us when its not safe to turn left, we have brains and common sense. Now I am cynical and have little faith left in the masses but I believe in people to at least some extant. These lights take away our freedom in some paternalistic BS flashing red arrow. I have left a comment to the Los Angeles Department of Transportation to get rid of these abominations or to try to explain what possible function they serve that the tax payers had to foot the bill for these. I implore everyone else to do it too, even if you don't live in Los Angeles screw them, you might come to visit some day right? You don't want this kind of babying do you? Now time to chill out and relax until the next time I have to be confronted by these hanging jerks.

Getty.

This morning I finally got myself down to the Getty Center placed on top the mountains separating the wonderful city of Los Angeles, and the dumpy valley of San Fernando. I threw a trashcan through a one of the guard box' when I found out parking was seven dollars, but then I was informed the museum was free and helped put some of the glass into the garbage can that was conveniently located (your welcome for that el gaurdo). Pretty much the architecture and landscape of the Getty is just badass. Its all stone and there is a lot of water spouting out from everywhere. The exhibits were decent and the view was incredible. Definitely a spot one should hit up if they live in the area or are visiting. Of course there were the old people about, the occasional class of little kids, the requisite skinny goth guy in all black who looks very uncomfortable in the sunny weather and with his way to good for him hot pale goth chick, gay couples, euro trash on vacation (look for short pants and man purse), and the occasional hipster walking around but it is a museum so that's just the way it goes.

On the way back tho! I spotted something amazing. It was a truck, with a NUT SACK! Now I may not be some fancy city doctor or one of them pretensious learned mechanics but I was pretty sure trucks did not need nuts, until today that is.




I did some research and turns out you can purchase these nuts here for about $10 online. I feel like my Honda sits too low unfortunately, because lord knows the last thing I need is my car to have its nuts scrapping the pavement.

Two fat guys I just can not stand.

I am going to start off this post putting it out there the true fat guy comedians found in movies and snl are some of my favorites. John Candy, Chris Farley, and Artie Lange are hilarious and tho mostly unfortunately dead, they had more talent then weight (this is a lot, these were fat men). Big Pun and Fat Joe are also okay guys in my book.
That being said I have been brought to the point of rage by listening to these two fat guys. The first one being Dom Deluise:

He dominated the movies of my youth. On IMDB he is credited with 117 acting roles. 117 ACTING ROLES, DEAR GOD! He had his own TV show damnit. He played "Magic Morton" on Beverly Hills 90210. If only he could make some talent appear out of thin air... Okay and yes his greatest roles the fantastic Cannonball Run series. Awful, Aweful. The only reason to watch those is for Burt Reynolds. The messed up thing is he somehow convinced other funny comedians that he was funny. He conned Mel Brooks into putting him in the hilarious History of the World Part 1 and Spaceballs. He was on the Ren and Stimpy show. He is not funny damnit. Now I know humor is subjective and it cant really be objectively stated what is funny or not definitively, but cmoooooon. He also permanently ruined that hat of his by associating it solely with fat people. It is ruined to even the pudgy but especially the skinny man.
The next fat guy who needs to chill out is Bruce Villanch:

Okay looking at this guy just makes me sick. He is not repulsive because he is fat or hideously proportioned but it is the muppet head and glasses which really set it off. This guy is famous for absolutely no reason. His biggest accomplishment is being a center square on the craptastic new Hollywood squares. I would not feel safe sitting in the square below him, I know that much. This man has become THE comedy writer for award shows as well. I would put one of his quotes but every time you are watching an award show and you say to yourself "God, why is George Clooney telling that painfully unfunny joke right now?" you've just heard yourself a Bruce Villanch gem.
He's also written for my nemisis the terribly unfunny Bett Midler. He is like a giant suck vortex that grabs the entire universe by everything he does.
The most painful thing about all of this is they continue to receive work Villanch continues to receive award show jobs and according to IMDB Deluise has a movie called Bongee Bear and the Kingdom of Rhythm coming out. Bravo Mr. Deluise, Bravo.

Unemployed.

Hah well who could have guessed, I don't think I will do anymore posts about Europe trip. It's been too much time and there is just so much more of the trip to talk about that it's become too daunting a task. I also don't think I will be writing too much about my trip to Oakland. To sum it up I went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers with Wollin. We had third row center seats on the floor, and Oakland is possibly one of the sketchest places I have ever been. Dice games on the street, people porking in open cars and other such activities. I spent a little bit of time and spruced up the site a little. Mostly odds and ends fixed some of the minor problems and added some functionality. Still can't figure out why the RSS feed thing isn't working, and need to add a home page bar here and there but I will get to those. There is now a new pictures section, as I think I will drop using webshots as soon as I get some more pics up. I would do it sooner but I forgot my password so I can't cancel it yet...

As of now I am unemployed and looking for a job. I sent out 40-50 resumes and going on some interviews. The jobs are mostly either in Law Offices or for Production companies. If anyone has a connection let me know! I hate looking for a job, hopefully I get one soon and can stop looking. Too be fair also it has only really been about two weeks since I started looking so I shouldn't complain too much. It is funny also, that I would like to have a job but I am not particularly in a rush to start working. I have been enjoying this time to read a lot and watch a lot of movies (restarted netflix and discovered OnDemand cable). It is also nice to be free when its sunny and perfect outside everyday.